Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize