mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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