I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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