its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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