gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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