I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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