This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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