Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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