Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
