You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
