Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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