How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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