i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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