im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Non-Jews are for practice
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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