Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
