well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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