I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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