What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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