Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
