im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We had to coat check the pizza.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
