i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
