Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
