I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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