this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
