You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
