This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
