Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Randomize
