her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize