Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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