Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
