; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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