I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
