I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
It's rum buckets o'clock
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
