i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
