she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
