ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
