Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
