i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize