At least make sure they are 18
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.