I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?