i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Can Purell be used as lube?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
he laminated a picture of his dick.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
