He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize
