i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
