I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
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