When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
That accounts for only three of the penises
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize