Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
