I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
