For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
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