Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
