ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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