the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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