All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
