He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
