Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
you had me at cake vodka
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
