Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
