Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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