but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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