Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
