I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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