So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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