dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
