i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
