dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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