so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
