You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
