Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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