i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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