What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
