that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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