oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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