the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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