my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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